Spilled beans (the Boos’ story revealed)

Well, the beans have been spilled, as they say (though why they say that I honestly don’t know). The story of how I and Little Boo became ghosts has finally been told. I was reluctant to say anything, even though some of the family have been sayin’ I should be telling the story. Honestly, though, I just couldn’t bring myself to.

And once you hear the story, can you blame me? It’s bad enough for folks to wrap their heads around having ghosts in their town, but ghosts who have been abducted by aliens? Why, I figured that might just be too much. And after having been nearly run out of town once, I didn’t want to risk it again.

But now with the other stories of alien abductions, including that of Don Burgeron, well, I think people are just scared enough about the aliens in general to not worry about us in particular. And I gotta say I’m real worried too, because though I don’t remember what happened to us up there in that spaceship, I do have an inexplicable dread whenever I come close to a cow. Which is a real problem here in Bovine, I can tell you. And Little Boo? Well, let’s just say he doesn’t enjoy stories about and spaceships and rockets and aliens like lots of other little boys do. Won’t get near a book about the planets or the stars, no sirree.

I’ve got a huge sense of relief that the story has finally come out, like I don’t have to hide anything anymore. But boy am I worried about the rest of the folks here in Bovine. Why are the abductions starting again? We haven’t had any here since Little Boo and I became the Boos. I thought those aliens had left us for good, but I guess they really like us here in Bovine County. Or maybe it’s a different set of aliens, doing different things to people? I shudder to think just what is going on.

I only hope turning people into ghosts is the worst they do.


The Abduction of Don

There was a time when I guess other folks might have said I had been abducted by drink. And to be sure, there were days like that. Even weeks. And I suppose a couple of years were kinds like that too.

But in all fairness, these last 20 years have been abduction free till last week.

I have read about crop circles and I have watched movies about how some space aliens were the architects behind the pyramids. I have even seen pictures of cows being abducted around these parts by saucers flying over these very hills in Bovine. And I have, for all my life, called it all hogwash.

But I am going to tell you now, there is something strange happening in Bovine and I have seen it.

We have been busy here getting ready for the reunion. I have finished the deck and the community fire pit, and even remodeled our garden so we can feed all those coming to the reunion. Often, I have been working till after dark to finish some of the preparations.

Last Sunday night I was working on the yard by the dog house just finishing some raking and putting leaves in a bag when I heard a high pitched whirling sound. At first I thought it was a big ol mosquito because it sounded close. Sort of. It was one of those sounds that you think could be right in your head or a mile away. Just hard to tell.

So I kept on raking and a short time later I heard it again. But it was farther off I could tell.

It was a nice evening and not yet dark so I took off walking toward the river to see if I could hear it better. I don’t recall how far I got or if I went anywhere because that is about where my recollection ends. It was as if time just stopped for a week and I woke up with a dog liking my face and the sun rising over the hills.

I remember jumping up and wondering how I had gotten to be laying on the ground when the last thing I could really recall was hearing the mosquito sounds and thinking I’d go walk down by the river.

I asked around to see if anyone missed me and not a soul said anything. It was like the night had gone by and I just fell asleep there on the ground. The world went on without notice.

But then the strangest thing of all happened and that is why I am telling you about this. I get up off the ground and walk back inside to the trailer. I see it looks like I left it just before I went outside to rake. I felt strange and I know something was wrong, but I could not put it together. I figured a shower would help so I showered and stood there in front of the mirror making sure I was all still there.

I had taken my watch off before I started raking and I picked it up off the bathroom sink and put it back on. The time was right, about six in the morning. But the date was not right. The date said it was the first of the month. When I went out to rake it was eight days earlier.

At first I figured it was just something wrong with the watch. But standing there in front of the mirror I could see a slight indentation in my scalp just below my hairline. It looked like numbers or letters but I had to look close to see it. As soon as I saw it clearly I knew what it was because it was the damn address of the trailer here in Bovine. 106.hair

“What the heck,” I said to myself in the mirror. Of course I was looking at the reflection of the thing so it made sense as a 106. But to someone looking at me, it was a g01 or maybe if I was upside down a 901. I was so scared and there I was thinking about me upside down and trying to read whoever was pushed into my skull.

I started screaming. Real loud. Standing there in the bathroom I screamed. And screamed.

No one came running to figure out what was going on.

I stopped screaming and went outside. I stood on the porch and looked over at the rake laying there on the ground. I looked down toward the river. I listened. Nothing but some birds over in the shrubs by the dog house. Nothing. Just a normal morning.

I figured I better write thins down so I don’t forget it is something else should happen.
I am back now. And weirdly, life just seems the same here in Bovine. Hotter than all get out and a few folks wandering in and out. It is as if the whole thing was a dream or maybe I somehow woke up in the middle of the night and drank a quart of rum, missed an entire week, and still woke up not recalling a damn thing? I just don’t know.

And I am not sure I want to know.

I just gotta keep at the raking and cleaning.

Rumour UPDATED / cow abduction by aliens

Has the top-illusional site AREA 106 something to do with the alleged cow abduction?

Has the top-illusional site AREA 106 something to do with the alleged cow abduction?

Rumour has it that in the last century in the 50th aliens abducted a cow from the Burgeron farm. Maybe more information will surface in the coming days.

Some time ago a news station made a short documentary about the rumor of a cow abduction from the Burgerons’ farm. Some original footage of the actual abduction (made with a prototype of the GIF-a-Chrome camera) had surfaced and was used in this documentary.

It’s available at YouTube