Cousin Froid tried visiting Dr M’s Tree house to read a Dutch fairy tale to the kiddies a couple of weeks ago. For various reasons he failed to get all the way inside so his voice sounded as hollow and disembodied as a robot’s when he told the legend of the first Klompen (or wooden shoes) from outside. Cousin Ron said it was hard to understand all the words that way.
Dr M invited him back to tell the story again. This time, on only the third incantation he tried, the tree house materialized and opened its door for Froid. Once inside he found Dr M, Nana Lou, Cousin Ron, and the children waiting to hear how the first wooden shoes happened to be crafted. Yes, of course it was fairies who did it, but the story starts long before that. Here’s Cousin Froid, AKA Jim Stauffer, reading from The World of Tales:
Note: There has been some confusion about Cousin Froid’s name since he introduced himself to the Bergeron family last year. Although the spelling is French, Froid is an immigrant Anglo-Canadian who learned French from bilingual cereal boxes as a teen. While he suspects that all letters after the first consonant may be silent in Québécois French, Cousin Froid and his Anglo family persist in pronouncing his name “Freud” because that’s just how they see it.
Froid is inordinately proud of his distant German ancestry and privately entertains politically incorrect views about other languages (i.e. the French are Germans trying to speak Latin, and the Dutch Language is a corrupted form of die Deutsche Sprache) – hence his inability to form the Dutch words in the story properly.
Long-lost cousin Froid Burgeron from Canada (his great-Grandfather, who homesteaded in Alberta, was second-cousin to Nana Lou’s step-great-uncle, who was the seventh son of her great grandfather’s third wife by a previous marriage*) learned the family was having a #Burgeron106 reunion when he bumped into Nana Lou during a harrowing encounter with a horde of Zombies. He sang a duet with Nana Lou at the trailer https://soundcloud.com/wayupnorth/trailerblues-nanalou-and-jim-too. That was when Nana Lou and Dr M invited Froid to the reunion.
Today Dr M left a trailer key for him under the gardenia pot outside the tree house. (Just sayin’ in case any of his wild relatives get a notion he’s broken in and head for the guns they keep hidden by the still. – oh wait – guess nobody hides guns in Texas #opencarry)
Froid has been sending post cards on his trip from wayUpNorth (dot ca) to attend the #burgeron106 Family Reunion @NanaLou022’s trailer in Bovine County, Texas. Froid didn’t have the right hashtag when he started out, so he storified his post cards to share them with the whole family. Now he can’t figure out how to embed them on wordpress.com.
Here’s the link to the full story so far: summer-of-the-trailer on Storify
In a Nutshell, Floyd ran into problems on the way.
Texas was farther than he figgered, and spring caught up with him.
After the snow melted, he thought he’d use the minivan but
forest fires closed the highway.
Floyd hopes he will be able to make it all the way to the reunion now that he’s had to go back and dig under the mattress to finance some high-priced transportation.
Froid is trying to persuade Anna Cow or Super Moo to help out with a situation he found down in Alberta where his closest relatives live. More postcards to come.
*probably gonna need some help showin’ that graft-in on the family tree, Nana Lou